It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
