yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
