I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
