There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
