Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
