I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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