plz talk dirty to me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
