Welp...herpes.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
