What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
