so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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