I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
