Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
