I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
