So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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