I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
