The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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