I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my being single is dangerous.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
