I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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