Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
