I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Even my vagina gasped.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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