Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
