why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
