i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is the high leading the old right now
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
