So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
