Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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