When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
