Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
