i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
