Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
