She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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