haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
