I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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