im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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