This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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