giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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