I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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