I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
