my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
