Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
