It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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