Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
