Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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