Soap is not a condiment
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
