genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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