if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
