Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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