oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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