There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
