Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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