Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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