Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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