I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Alive.
So much puke
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
