I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Someone shattered a urinal.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
